FEB 1
The new month dawns upon you. With Mercury and Venus by your side, forget the transgressions of the past and grow into the awakening of the new. Take chances, discover truths, and live without regrets.
Mantra of the day: Forgetting is growing.
FEB 2
Focus your energy on social obligations today. Friends need your help and in return, they will introduce you to someone who will change your life. If you give your energy to your friends and to your daily horoscope as the moon gives tides to the earth, you will be rewarded.
Mantra of the day: Friendships, and horoscopes, are give and take.
FEB 3
Form new relationships and take a chance on those who have been drawn into your orbit. You’re in equinox to Saturn, twisted with Neptune, created to be guided by those around you. Be prepared and excited for a new adventure.
Mantra of the day: New people, new me.
FEB 4
There are big changes ahead of you. People you have recently met will guide you through it. Celebrate what you have, and don’t hesitate to text him first. The sun is at your back, lighting your way.
Mantra of the day: I’m not desperate, just actively seeking.
FEB 5
Mars and Mercury are aligned, and just as they are bound to each other, you’ll find your new relationship is bound to past ones. Ignore the similarities and focus on what you can do this time. With each new love, you will learn more about yourself. Now is the time to commit.
Mantra of the day: I don’t have a type.
FEB 6
Saturn and Uranus briefly pass. Time to do something new. Take your new boy on a trip to the mountain with the hidden lake—you know the one. Once there, sit at the picnic table that has lost a bench and stare into his deep brown eyes while the stars glitter above. When you get home, bake him a cake. You’ve always loved baking.
Mantra of the day: I think I love him.
FEB 11
Venus is in retrograde, prompting you to remember your place in the world. Know you are nothing but a dot in the cosmos of the universe. Trust in your daily horoscope calendar today and forever more. I can help you choose, but only if you flip me every day.
Mantra of the day: I am nothing. My horoscope is everything.
FEB 12
Matters of the heart are not as simple as they seem. This boy is distracting you from your path, your future. He’s a Scorpio after all. You’ve learned what you can; you’ve grown in your anger. Time to end what was destined to fail.
Mantra of the day: I don’t love him anymore.
FEB 13
Since you need proof like Mercury needs moons, go to his house. Pay attention. Notice the second toothbrush, the lingerie, the smell of perfume. I told you to give it up, but you didn’t listen. If you don’t stop him, he will break your heart instead of the other way around. Jupiter predicted it.
Mantra of the day: I was wrong. My horoscope was right.
FEB 14
Celebrate love. Unless you don’t have anyone in your life because you didn’t listen to your horoscope, then drown your sorrows in a tub of Blue Bell ice cream. Mars compels you to.
Mantra of the day: Mint ice cream is warmer than my heart.
FEB 15
Just like the planets above, know I am always here for you. In this time of grief, trust in your daily horoscope to make choices so you don’t have to. According to Saturn, you shouldn’t make any big decisions.
Mantra of the day: I can give up, and that’s okay.
FEB 16
Try not to think about him, or your ex, or the ex before. Try not to dwell on the fact that he’s happier without you. You have quite a track record at this point. To be expected from a Gemini.
Mantra of the day: I don’t make good choices by myself.
FEB 17
Uranus is showing. Spend time with your friends. Go to work. On your way home, don’t pass by his place. He still lives there, though he’s brought another girl to his bed. It will hurt too much to see.
Mantra of the day: I trust my horoscope. It knows what’s best for me.
FEB 18
It is a day of lists. In red pen, write down everything you know about your ex. His looks, his hobbies, his location, and his favorite sweets. Recite the incantation included on the last page. This will drag his spirit into your dreams, where you can fuck then kill him like the praying mantis you want to be.
Mantra of the day: I’m a badass praying mantis.
FEB 19
The universe is working in your favor. Go to the store and buy the prettiest knife you can find. The one you saw in your dreams. The one that glistened like starlight when you slit his throat.
Mantra of the day: The sharper the blade, the deeper the cut.
FEB 20
Neptune weeps with you, its blue aura darker today than before. Take a day to sit with your sorrow. Let it suffocate you like a weighted blanket. Drown yourself in your tears, pour your sorrow all over your list, watching the ink drip onto your pillow in thin red drops. The bleeding words will give you power and confidence to do what needs to be done.
Mantra of the day: The ink will remind me of what I lost.
FEB 21
It is a day of plans. Write down the most vital organs in the body, the ones that die the quickest. Do this in black pen so it doesn’t fade. Venus will hear it, and gift you with the power of discretion.
Mantra of the day: I will know where to hurt him.
FEB 22
It’s important to tackle the tasks you can handle. Under the new moon, use your beautiful new knife to slash his tires. Then, stare at his window, at the light blinding you, and debate slashing him as well. If you can, do it.
Mantra of the day: Consistency is key.
FEB 23
It’s okay to feel regretful sometimes. It is through moments like these that we grow, learn our skills and interests. As long as you listen to your horoscope, everything will be okay.
Mantra of the day: Everything will be okay because I have my horoscope.
FEB 24
Throw away the knife like Uranus should throw away its rings. You were never good at stonecold murder. But, you were always good at making sweets people couldn’t resist. Even if he’s no longer in your life, even if he claims he has moved on, he won’t be able to say no to your baked goods. Refer to the bleeding list for his favorite treat then go to the store and get the perfect ingredients.
Mantra of the day: Shopping is the best therapy.
FEB 25
One of the most effective ways to grieve a relationship is to bake. Spend the day living your best life by focusing on your passion like you do every month. While you’re on this baking binge, make the sweet he loves. They may contain your inkstained tears, but they smell delicious.
Mantra of the day: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
FEB 26
Yesterday’s messes will bleed into the future if you let them. Start by cleaning your apartment. Pour any extra cleaning supplies you have at the end of the day into the dessert. For flavor.
Mantra of the day: Tidy home, tidy heart.
FEB 27
Mercury and Jupiter play like kids in the cosmos. Mimic them by playing your own version of dingdongditch. Go to his home and place the sweets at the door. Ring the doorbell and run. No one can resist your treats when they’re free and smell amazing.
Mantra of the day: Sharing is caring.
FEB 28
Jupiter and Mercury are aligned. That means it’s the perfect day to listen to police reports as you clean up the evidence. It’s important to not let your emotions overwhelm you. Remind yourself that you’re stronger without them, stronger with me.
Mantra of the day: I’m going to scrub that man right out of my hair, and sofa, and bedding, and kitchen.
MAR 1
The new month dawns upon you. With Mercury and Venus by your side, forget the transgressions of the past and grow into the awakening of the new. Take chances, discover truths, and live without regrets.
Mantra of the day: Forgetting is surviving.