Warning Label
For use in treating
hypermundanity,
more commonly known
as excessive ordinariness.
Do not combine with alcohol.
Use only as directed.
If you experience
blurred vision
bloody urine
aphasia
glossolalia
levitation
bilocation
persistent glitter shedding
or heart arrhythmia,
discontinue use
and consult a doctor.
Effects may include:
unexpected shrinkage
unexpected growth
demonic possession
transformation sequences
soulbonding
residence in Faerie
(temporary or permanent)
post-mortem reanimation
and in rare cases,
giving birth to the Chosen One.
After taking the first dose,
wait one year.
Should symptoms persist,
a second may be taken, and a third
after seven more years.
Do not exceed
three doses
in one lifetime.