🗯️ Trivia

by Arreshy Young

Frivolity = = Zealotry

Altruism = = Apathy

Sublimity = = Flatulence

Trivia = = Truth && Regularity

Enthusiasm = = Hypocrisy || Insurgency

-- Coryat's Boolean Crudities

The mind couldn't care less what its brain alleges or believes.

-- The Hologram Anatomy

The sectarian outrage machines have made peace, as if remembering seven elected leaders can cancel all voters, activists, and dictionaries capable of defining the word activism with a single varicose twitch.

The New Apathy, then, needs no justification. If eight seconds of activity can launch a nuclear holocaust then Laziness must be identical to Altruism. The most compelling screed is to sleep. The creed which inspires is the amputation of limbs or collaborative brain damage. Both mobs and the police are a statutory waste of energy. Paralyze the go-getters and all wars will cease. Demagogues will combust extemporaneously, or frugally cease to exist.

The Internet reminds me of the camouflaged Flower Mantis, devouring insidious and horny bees only to regurgitate a slop of thoraxes and wings resembling Flower Mantis nutrients and not a bee. Any attempt to reconstruct the bees as the buzzing, nectar-sucking dive bombers known to biologists would be rightly called insane. I write this superstitiously, "getting ahead of the story" in the manner of Jean Jacques Rousseau's 'Confessions.' What insane person would point out their own insanity?

Intrude a predatory preface or sinister-strategic prelude. Outside of anatomical jargon and surrealist whimsy, the parts of a bee cannot be a bee. We know this, but only know it rancidly (as an infestation of our nasal cavities) when we see the butchered pregnant women posed by William Hunter in 'The Anatomy of the Human Gravid Uterus Exhibited in Figures.' No meticulous family history or photographic memory can project maternity onto this meat—or even criminality (most of the women are described as executed thieves)—meat which matters less than the sketches of that meat, which at least revolutionized obstetrics and midwifery and retain, unlike their conjectural source victims, the power to repel me.

Digesting You, I Reconstruct the Bee

Cue the following deepfake-finesse clip (the caretakers of the Guagida Assisted Living Complex, on behalf of the clip's ailing creator, have refused all interview requests), so humbly aberrated by reverent and rival deepfakers in the decades since that religious wars could be fought over the real or invented "differences" between successive childfakes without anyone knowing which zealot belonged to which army. The ORIGINAL Motherfake depicts a real event, of people falling like phoenix feathers from a burning skyrise (residential, not the one you history buffs might be thinking). The efficient cause was blamed on a cigarette butt thrown down a laundry chute. The Hezerdja Patrimonial archives attest the formal cause: a mania for virtue automation expressed in the collision of competing fire trucks on Rue La Mameet Jambe due to a soft-hearted disaster coordination Intern AI disbursing more firemen than was cost-efficient. 

The finesse in DFF is a humble-brag. With DFF or its dom-genre wily-DF, the frauds are as self-effacing as a volcano burping steam into the sea, avoiding all vulgar vivisections of cosmetic or cosmic facts in favor of thickening the mushroom gills on the novelty food porn clothing of those who chose to jump rather than incinerate; softening the chiaroscuro of connubial ash and sizzling spousal grease the color of paan tobacco spit; swapping the grime on the 387th and 492nd floor windows; adding fortress hedgehog bristles to a panicking window cleaner's brush and hairdo; bending the implausible declivity formed by rays of sunlight bouncing off a melting girder (fundamentalist childfakers will reshape this declivity as the spectral hand of God; atheist childfakers will reshape it as the spectral hand of a butterfingers-God fumbling the pious); or, forty minutes before the fire starts, exaggerating the tallowness of one women's jowls until they seem to melt like premonitory candle wax; adding an abandoned bookshelf near the 12th floor elevator which cannot be seen even on maximum zoom, whether in the Motherfake, childfakes or non-canon mongrel memes, a shelf encasing three books. #1 -- a copy of 'The Neverending Story' with all the pages ripped out, including the gift inscription, by an ungrateful nephew who in the video's description has been aliased from Teddy Li to Teddy Lin. #2 -- the rough draft of a med school commencement speech beginning "doctors are a suicidal species, but frugal in how they kill themselves." #3 -- a short story collection whose title story 'Ventriarch' is about a daughter, Bint Sanjil Marjane, who has a heart attack, due to a potassium deficiency after-effect of surgery, while giving a eulogy for the father, Bar Sanjil Mahmoud, she abhorred and adored. The story ends when the father's heart erupts in two streams. Splattering sympathy and/or apology?

There are boneless words, in both prefab (organic) and fabricated machine language, which collide like klutzy butterflies, evanescence pulverizing evanescence before their time, and spinal words which sink into the colluding mud and fossilize, crypts for naked helices of incriminating DNA.

The following helices do not aspire to such paleontological transcendence or even, as evidence of senseless social mutations, to withstand cross-examination. We refuse, like some antique German Idealist philosopher, to systematize incoherence, still less to teach or even learn something.

Testamental Helices #1.

There is a pandemic of pointlessness, procrastinating but meandering eventually to all children of the New Apathy, as if our social fads were gestating into a real disease. Its symptoms manifest as an epileptic futilitarianism; a combustion of calories without generating so much as lethargy, let alone thermodynamic activity. In the same way the universe does not care about its own indifference or ponder improbabilities. If events converge, they converge conceptually and so I urge the brain inside my mind to conceive a convergence of the following: the incel virus; the public guillotining of comedians, speech writers, engrossing small-talkers, inspiring platoon leaders, popular podcasters; the boosting of and fundraising for the laconic and anonymous Q-tip warehouse packer Bar Dubayr; the gliding and serene riots in support of the nebbish deaf-mute demagogue Bar Ilyas who is unaware that he has a following, let alone a mass following.

Testamental Helices #2.

A catalogue of anti-heroes in the quantum physics sense. In the last thirty years, all PSC Lancôme community service citations and peace prizes have been awarded in pairs. The lesser award goes to some local hero; the more lucrative award goes to the person who just undid, with listless rigor, all of the heroes' cited and uncited deeds.

Testamental Helices #3.

No biographies. No documentaries by a man of genius, or even a literary mercenary, about the orbital revolutionaries of Tinjitan who killed 866,000 people in order to revert all social and economic conditions back to exactly what they were the moment just before their first gym bombing.

Testamental Helices #4.

One fact is well documented. The statutory erasure of the OG Derangers, otakus whose frauds were professionally unreal, gaudy in their blasphemies and libel.

Denying-despising their OG-fathers, the revolutionary young -- like LateStagePetrusIbernia, freespace-formed but fated to be torn apart by the gravitational or conspiratorial force of Matthew Arnold's dueling-dualistic worlds: "one dead, the other powerless to be born" -- revived the Hegelian synthesis of the boring and the sinister (the nonconsensual reunion of surgically separated twins), outdoing the frivolity of Motherfake & kids by deepfaking thousands of language training videos (and thousands of teachers), tweaking obscure or deprecated grammar-syntax rules, all to suggest to teenage toyminders that the cursing and pleas in rival "Phoenix Feather" videos might be ungrammatical and uncouth without marring or scarring the dermal or subdermal meaning.

Supplemental Helices #4a.

Modding off the work of AfterMarketAquinas9785, troll farms will flood message boards with one-man micronation filibuster dilemmas, weather forecasts pertaining only to the wisp of cloud hovering directly above Bar Shibli's downtown apartment on the 18th of Junuun, abstruse actuarial equations for insuring screwdriver inventories, and shaggy dog stories which grow shaggier the more urgently you scroll.

Testamental Helices #5.

The thought of clouds reminds me of that classic Syriac chronography. "In that year the wine tasted like urine and the clouds gave up shapeshifting."

Testamental Helices #6.

It's shocking that no attempt has been made in any medical study—to which I have access—to link the inexplicable extinction of tuberculosis, malaria, meningitis, and hospital staph infections to the mass murder of more attractive germs by an incel virus who, according to certain nearly illegible records I discovered in the Rhazes Imperial Children's Hospital, regimented hundreds of alienated viruses into paramilitary broods.

Testamental Helices #7.

By contrast the above falls one jolt short of electrocution compared to the mild buzz and subsequent patriotic numbness of our journalists after the mass hack by monolingual nativists of thirty-seven Private Service Commune databases, their encyclopedia and etymology data replaced with a script whose output is said to resemble a half-drawn shrug emoji, leading to the extinction of sixty-seven languages and adding one hundred eighty-four to the endangered list.

Testamental Helices #8.

Complacently, I awaken my four Digestion Bots to consume all the relevant research I am too discouraged and exhausted to follow up on.

Testamental Helices #9.

The easygoing terrorist group CODON has claimed responsibility for the intermittent drafts describing a bomb threat, as yet unsent to the Saksiwa Junta's Motor Vehicle Department HQ on the corner of Rue Sanjil Mahmoud. Their seasonal sedition continues as it has the past fifteen years, notable for its working class friendly vacation policy throughout the winter, summer, and spring.

Double Twisted Helices #10.

Two hundred sixty-eight immigrants are casually deported from the silent city-state of Outremer for ostentatious breathing. Hardly newsworthy for such an audiophobic community except in its deportation strategy. It's been eight years and two hundred of those immigrants still live in lackadaisical fear of arrest and arraignment, and forty-two are waiting in line to be flushed down the exit-border rectum.

Bonus trivia. The city of Outremer is supposed to have been built in the shape of a brooding (some say constipated) astronomer. And it is true that the citizens gripe, in their imperceptible body language, about the perpetual infrastructure resculpting, their complaints loosely translating to "botched cosmetic surgery."

Testamental Helices #11.

Mores against hasty suicide multiply as quickly as Rapid Suicide Prevention Hotlines counseling seppuku cell-by-cell, that is to live, rely on programmed cell recycling, i.e. to kill oneself using natural causes.

Testamental Helices #12

"Anger is a species of gain; it is cheaper to hate than to give." Cheaper, in currency, but wanton in calories (treasured, tepidly, in kilojoules). So the past six years have been the most charitable in human memory.

Testamental Helices #13.

Trends in philanthropy. Some extremists have spent their entire fortunes planting millions of real and artificial trees in order to trivialize "climate change alarmism" by solving climate change. As ruthless, if less inventive, the Lsaan Hibel has published whistleblower reports that a police union in the capital of colonial Cherfis has ended its (disavowed) assassination program and diverted funds to mass food drives and housing projects to support starving Deu Ames in order to put Hunger Advocates out of a job (one dreams of Kafka's Hunger Artist hawking up his last gob of saliva to spit onto his handout, that Hunger Artist whose baby blues remind this writer of Shakespeare's lines. "And faster bound to Aarons charming eyes, Then is Prometheus tied to Caucasus").