📝 The revolution will not be optimized

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The revolution was supposed to start at 9:00 AM sharp, but someone forgot the coffee. Now we’re all groggy and cranky, pointing fingers at one another, trying our best to avoid taking any responsibility…

And that’s the problem, isn’t it? 

What our lovely, revolutionary dreamers overlook when sketching their imaginary utopia on napkins is that there’s no plan. Not a bad plan. No plan. 

Zilch. Nada. Cero.

Ask ten different people, and you’ll get eighteen different answers about the best path forward. Each and every one of those paths leads nowhere.

So I might as well throw number nineteen into the mix.

We liberals think we can topple the world’s most sophisticated military-industrial complex, but we aren’t even working from the same playbook, let alone reading from the same page. I’ve had countless conversations with people—people who share my socialist-liberal values—who believe not voting and letting things get worse will lead to some sort of revolution (violent or otherwise) is the answer. 

That obviously won’t work. As much as we might hate our system, we have to work within it. Keep the pressure on the throats of those who resist change by voting, volunteering, and pushing for policies. It’ll make a difference—even if only incremental. 

Meanwhile, the current system—corrupt, grinding, unfair—at least keeps the lights on and the sewage flowing downhill. Boring? Yes. Functional? Mostly. But letting it get worse to somehow magically get better comes at the cost of people’s lives. Seriously, people are dying. 

Those who suffer the most are just trying to keep their heads down and do their job. If you’re willing to sacrifice the people you claim to be championing, what are you actually fighting for?

Now let’s get into the nuts and bolts of this so-called “revolution.”

The government has bombs that can vaporize city blocks from space and algorithms that predict your grocery list before you make it. They have weapons you’ve never heard of because the classification level doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. Your revolution has… what? A couple of guns and an encrypted messaging app they’re already using to spy on you?

The math is simple: one Predator drone versus ten thousand protesters. The drone doesn’t get tired. Doesn’t need motivation. Doesn’t question orders—just circles silently until someone three time zones away presses a button. If you think this administration won’t stoop that low if pushed, I have a bridge to sell you.

But let’s pretend, just for a second, that revolution succeeds through some miracle—massive military defection, total system collapse, alien intervention—whatever it may be.

Then what?

Power corrupts. This isn’t cynicism; it’s physics. Give someone authority over resource distribution and watch them discover why their cousin deserves extra. Watch our fearless leaders give themselves higher pay, better offices—which would be necessary for their important work, of course—and lavish expenses on the revolution’s dime for a job well done. Watch today’s liberators become tomorrow’s dictators.

People are human. We’re selfish. We disagree. It’s just what we do. Maybe we can convince ourselves it’ll be better for the first couple of years after we flawlessly execute our non-existent plan, but we’ll end up right where we started. And for what? 

History keeps receipts. The French Revolution ate its own children. The Soviets built gulags. Every group that promised to end oppression simply restructured it—usually less efficiently and more brutally than before.

The system is broken—no argument there—but breaking it further isn’t fixing it. And trust me, it can get a lot worse. We should protest and push for change. But real reform is slow, frustrating, and incomplete. It’s also the only thing that’s ever improved human conditions without massive body counts.

The revolution will not be optimized because the revolution will not be. It’s a fever dream for people who confuse Twitter engagement with actual power. The real work—boring, incremental, unsatisfying—happens in city councils, school boards, and voting booths. Not just once, but over and over in every election, no matter how small or inconsequential it may feel in the moment. 

The government has bombs. We have votes, voices, and the ability to make the system marginally less terrible tomorrow than it is today. That’s not inspiring. It’s simply true.

Now, if someone doesn’t bring me a double shot of espresso within the next five minutes, I will revolt.