E. Florian Gludovacz — An interview with the author of Small Potatoes
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What’s your favorite way to eat potatoes?
I think the better question would be “What’s your least favourite way of eating potatoes?”. Potatoes are amazing and there are so many ways of eating them! Fried, boiled, baked, deep-fried, mashed. The possibilities are endless! I’m particularly partial to scalloped potatoes with lots of cheese on top, and pan-fried potatoes with caramelised onions, garlic, and oregano.
I suppose, what makes potatoes so amazing is their versatility. There are endless options for condimenting. Sour cream, bacon, a pinch of salt, you name it. And, of course, I have to mention the deep fried options. Chips/crisps are one of those universal snacks very few people will forego. I especially enjoy plain salted varieties and ones with a paprika/barbecue seasoning. And last, but not least, we need to talk about the good old French fry/chip, of course. Eat them on their own, drizzled with vinegar paired with fried fish, perhaps enjoy some loaded carne asada fries, or stuff them into a California burrito.
And to answer my own question, my “least favourite way” is probably the mashed potato, because there are fewer condiment options that I personally find appealing. However, I do enjoy the occasional mash as well.
What would a potato’s least favorite way to be cooked be?
I think that would be the mashed potato, simply because it destroys the natural beauty of the potato and blends them all into one faceless mass. If my story teaches us anything, it is that potatoes are people, too. They have their own individuality and agency, good and bad character traits, and very different personalities. Blending them all together does not do them justice.
Do you think you’d be as brave as Spudwig if you were put in the same situation?
Hell, no! I think that we all like to imagine ourselves as the hero in our personal story and, of course, we are. But that is very different from being an actual hero performing heroic deeds. When reading a story, watching a film, or playing a video game, we identify with the hero and imagine what we would do, but in real life that is not how people are. Mostly, we are small, petty, lazy, scared, and generally silly. And this is why stories are so attractive to us. We get to live vicariously through the heroes’ feats and imagine what it would be like without having to take the actual risks.
Very few people have the ability to be as brave as this particular potato.
Is there a new potato religion about to be formed?
I think that is almost certain. Tattyana is a true believer and she will do everything in her power to spread the message and convert the other potatoes. Now, will it be a good religion? That is something I cannot answer with confidence. Will this religion gain popularity outside the root cellar with other potatoes in the country, or even the world? Who knows? Will there be consequences for humanity? I’ll leave that up to the readers’ imaginations. I believe that good stories pose as many questions as they answer, so draw your own conclusions, if you are so inclined.
What would their symbol be?
It would most definitely be a golden oblong to symbolise the sliced chip/crisp. However, I’m certain that down the line there would be a schism. The new sect would adopt the symbol of the golden circle to represent the pot of frying oil. After all, the pot is the true pathway to enlightenment and the chip is merely the transitory embodiment on the road to potato heaven.
Then there would be the oblong within the circle, which represents the unified and reformed congregation of enlightened potatohood. Perhaps they would have a “popetato” to lead the faithful?
I think symbolism and abstraction is an important facet of religious life. It is one of the earliest and most elemental forms of “product branding” and a good design will go a long way in promoting what you have to “sell”.
Do these potatoes have mouths or do they communicate another way?
They are potatoes, so they do not have mouths, of course. At least I have never seen a potato with a mouth before. They do, however, have multiple eyes (which is what those little indents/sprouts are called), so they perceive the world differently from us. They probably have an almost 360° globular view of their surroundings, but I cannot tell what part of the spectrum they would see in, or how they perceive colour. Since they live underground in the root cellar or are buried, I’d imagine that they have primarily black and white vision, with a bit of colour mixed in.
Their communication is a mix of telepathy, vibrations at different frequencies, and body language. In terms of sophistication and abstraction, I believe their communicative skills vary significantly. They have no trouble being petty and mean to Spudwig, but I doubt that the average potato is very eloquent. This is why Spudwig – beyond his physical appearance – is an outcast in the root cellar. He dreams and has an imagination, which requires a certain level of linguistic skill.
How many times has this story been rejected by other markets?
It took nine tries to place “Small Potatoes”, but rejections aren’t a particularly significant metric by any standard. I have placed some stories on the first try, while one story took 22 attempts. Rejections are part of the writerly process and I think every serious author needs to embrace rejections to some extent, perhaps even celebrate the occasional one. If anything, a high rejection count for a particular story means that I especially like the story and have gone out of my way to find a market for it. It’s about sending it to those “dream magazines” we want to be published in, to try to connect with new readers, and new editors. It’s about leaving your comfort zone and chasing your dreams and aspirations. You have to see the potential in your own work. It might also mean that the story is extremely different and brilliantly unique and racks up rejections, because it does not fit an easy mould or expectation. After all, editors are human beings, who might not comprehend your story’s unique brilliance through no fault of their own. Just keep trying.
With all of that said, I had a gut feeling that “Small Potatoes” would find a home here at Foofaraw.
What’s a great short story you’ve read recently?
There are so many great stories out there and never enough time to read them all. Usually, at this point in the interview, I’ll pick a story that struck a chord with me out of an anthology or a website I have contributed to and give a fellow writer a shout-out. This time I’ll simply recommend that everyone should subscribe to/follow “Quotidian Bagatelle” right here on Foofaraw. I love reading a daily short story by so many different authors and in very different styles. And they are short, so you can read them every day.
(Full disclosure: I have contributed stories to QB, but I recommend the site because I like the daily schedule, the variety, and the brevity).
What book are you reading right now?
“Under Heaven” by Guy Gavriel Kay. He writes historical fantasy, which means that he bases his stories on historical research, which he then applies to his fictitious worlds. There is usually a soft magic component to his books, which is a nice touch that always throws me off (in a good way), because of the largely historical context and background. Additionally, many of his books are stand-alone, which is worth mentioning in the world of fantasy, where multi-trilogy overarching series tend to be the norm these days. Sometimes it’s nice to get the complete story in one book.
Do you have anything else you’d like to share?
Enjoy your life as you enjoy your potatoes, prepared in many different ways with all the seasonings, condiments, and complementary dishes out there.