The Department of Balderdash, Flummery & Hokum
Veritas Optional Since Whenever
Sad Salad
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Derek G.
Glendale, CA
★★☆☆☆ March 30, 2024 | 11:54 PM
took my girlfriend to cheesecake factory tonight for our 2 year anniversary cause it’s her favorite and i was trying to make it a thing even though she’s been all moody lately. we got the buffalo blasts and 2 vodka sodas to start. she ordered her usual chicken madeira and i just got a side salad cause i already ate a PB&J at home. my girl looked at me like i ordered a bowl of napkins and the waitress (danielle maybe?) just wrote “sad salad.” after that she got all defensive and i guess we got loud. the manager said we were “disturbing the other patrons” and asked us to leave which i don’t agree with but he was nice about it so no hard feelings. pretty sure they boxed her madeira though and i paid so whatever.
- food: 2/5 - the buffalo blasts were ok
- service: 5/5 - danielle was chill
- company: 0/5 - we broke up in the parking lot
i’m single now so DMs are open. danielle if you’re reading this i swear i’m not a salad guy. Just being responsible. hit me up.
Jessica M.
Los Angeles, CA
★★★★☆ March 31, 2024 | 1:32 AM
I don’t normally write restaurant reviews, but since my ex-boyfriend decided to post his run-on sentence meltdown, here we are.
The night started with an argument before we even got there, which Derek conveniently left out. He parked six blocks away to avoid the meter. My feet were killing me.
Still trying to salvage the night, we ordered drinks and an app. It was fine until he ordered a side salad as his entrée. It’s not even about the salad. It’s that everything is a joke to him, and I’m always the punchline. Weddings. Birthdays. My grandfather’s funeral. I find myself practicing apologies for him before he opens his mouth. By the time the manager asked us to leave, I knew I was done.
- Food: 4/5 - My madeira to-go was delicious.
- Service: 4/5 - Danielle did her best.
- Company: 0/5 - The Cheesecake Factory didn’t ruin my night. Derek did.
And Danielle, if you’re seeing this, you can have him.
Danielle L.
Burbank, CA
★★★★★ April 2, 2024 | 4:23 PM
This is the cleanest, best-run Cheesecake Factory I’ve worked at. And I’ve worked at a few.
About to start my shift and saw the recent reviews. I’ve served worse couples, but not many. We train for this. To smile, offer bread. I followed the script. I just didn’t have it in me to sell it. By table twelve, everyone thinks they’re the exception. They never are.
Derek: Please stop coming in during dinner rush and “just hanging out.” We are not friends. You’re taking up seats meant for paying guests.
Jessica: Glad you enjoyed your madeira. I promise I’m not interested in Derek. He didn’t even tip.