🎙️ Michael Allen Rose

Read Michael's story, Of Iron & Oatmeal, now!

Do you view this story as a critique of military (and/or corporate) “brainwashing?”

There are certain themes I come back to again and again in my writing, and one of those is the abuse of power. You can bet that in just about any Michael Allen Rose story, eventually the “big bad guy” will be revealed, at least in part as Religion or Capitalism or the Corporation or the Government. One of those “big ol’ capital letter” systems that have bloated to the point where although they may be “run by” people, they no longer consider “people” a central concern. So yes, I think even when I’m being glib and funny in my genre fiction, whether it’s horror or sci-fi or bizarro or whatever, there’s always a layer of social satire underneath that screaming “don’t trust the system, it’s there to exploit you.” I think history will back me up on this.

Were you a military brat, by chance?

I came from a long line of military folks, but actually I was the one who broke the cycle. I was the first kid on my dad’s side of the family to go to college and get liberal arts degrees rather than dropping out of high school and joining the service. I saw what military service did to my dad, who ended up disabled and retired by the time I was three, and thought “Nope.” Growing up just down the road from an Air Force base though, certainly had an influence on me. I was surrounded by military brats all through my school years, and befriended several, so I was peripheral to the military in more than a few ways.

What are your feelings on oatmeal? And if you do like it, I’m curious why that was the food you chose for this specific story?

Sometimes, I’ll start a story with a title or a line, instead of a fully formed idea. In this case, it was the non-sequiter: “I’m not very happy about it, but I ate the oatmeal.” It’s a fun challenge, and I highly recommend it for other writers to try. Then, it sat there in a file all alone for several years, until eventually my brain started to mull over things like “Why is my character upset about eating the oatmeal? What does oatmeal mean to them? Were there raisins?” I worked at a call center for a summer back in high school, and hated it. Combined with my natural disgust for corporations and impersonal capitalist systems, the story slowly formed. For the record, I like oatmeal just fine. Most of my experience with it comes from making it for my girlfriend on the weekend (she likes how I make it. The secret is the milk to oats ratio.) Apple cranberry is my meal of choice.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

I’ve had a variety of crap jobs. In my teen years, I worked as a housekeeper at a hospital, and at one point actually ended up cleaning the floors of the morgue, armed with only a floor buffer. I distinctly recall the sound of the bubbling machines that, I assume, kept bodies in good condition, while being the only person on that floor of the building. I also worked as a dishwasher at a country club, where even little kids had check books of their own. I worked at a pet store for a bit, where I got to scoop handfuls of liquid puppy poo out of cages filled with ill puppies. But believe it or not, my worst job was for a corporation (which shall not be named) just doing office work. The back-stabbing, the cruelty, the social climbing and politics, the mean spirited exhaustion of people, the byzantine paperwork, and the endless glare of the fluorescent lights slowly killing us? I cried on the way to work sometimes.

And do you think it made you as queasy and felt as soul-sucking as Robert’s new gig?

In an ideal world, most people would be able to pursue their passions,find meaningful work, and have enough resources to cover their basic needs no matter their employment status. I would imagine, if people were really honest, and you were able to take a poll of every person in the world that works, the majority would probably be generally unhappy with at least some - if not most - aspects of what they do. Especially those people who have no choice but to work in conscience-crushing, soul-sucking jobs they’re forced to pretend to care about. So, yeah, because the world we live in is so very far from ideal, I think most people have this experience at least once in their lives, if not many times. Except maybe billionaires, but… screw billionaires.

The ending is both pretty funny and revelatory—we don’t know what this thing is, where it comes from, but if we can harness its power for our benefit while “the people” bear the “costs,” we are more than happy to be complicit… I guess that’s a long way to tie this back to the current moment we seem to be living through and ask if that rings true to you as well?

Oh absolutely. It’s easy to forget that a lot of genre fiction writers, especially in sci-fi and horror, aren’t really writing about the future. They’re simply looking at the present and extrapolating what they see, taking it to an extreme, and writing a world that’s only a couple of tiny changes away from our own. We are living in a time that’s hotly politicized, with every aspect of our lives being scrutinized, criticized, and used as fuel for straw-men created by those who don’t agree with us so they can justify harm. But even with that tension, most people are happy to sit behind their keyboard, spread conjecture and insults, and not actually seek out verified information or build connections. Or worse yet, listen to “an authority” that definitely doesn’t care about them or have any of their interests at heart. They are, as you say, complicit in their own subjugation. Most people don’t like to consider consequences, or think long-term. It’s inconvenient and unpleasant.

How many times has this story been rejected?

I think the story was rejected around 6 to 8 times from various publications? Interestingly, the first time it got somewhere was in 2024 when it was picked up as a translation for an anthology released by South America’s Vestigio Press called Brecha II: AntologÍa de Literatura ExtraÑa. It was my first foreign language publication. I wish I could read it, but sadly my public school education failed me, and I can’t read Spanish well enough to enjoy it! It was “kept for further consideration” once or twice, but until now, has not seen publication in English. I’m happy that Foofaraw enjoyed it enough to unleash it on the masses!

What’s a great short story you’ve read recently?

This is cheating a little bit, because it’s a story in one of the anthologies my own small press RoShamBo Publishing put out, but John Bruni wrote a wonderful story called Family Tradition for our Stories From The Motel Sick anthology. A man checks into our metaphysical motel to commit suicide, and ends up having a long, dark night of the soul in which he meets the ghosts of his father and his past and breaks a long cycle of violence and mental illness. It’s hard to explain further without spoiling it, but for me publishing it was a no-brainer.

What book are you reading right now?

I’m currently in the middle of a true crime book about the murder of Emmett Till called The Barn: The Secret History of a Murder in Mississippi by Wright Thompson. It’s pretty intense, as you’d imagine. And I just finished an amazing book called Mother-Eating by Jess Hagemann that’s a horror-tinged retelling of the story of Marie Antionette’s reign through the lens of a woman who sells her daughter to a Texas death cult for fame and fortune. In lighter moments, I’ve been absolutely obsessed with Matt Dinniman’s Dungeon Crawler Carl series!

Do you have anything else you’d like to share?

I have a Patreon where I release a new zine or chapbook just about every month, so if people like weird, limited edition, hand-mailed stories, plays, and other oddities, that’s a good place to get more of me! You can find that, and all sorts of other things at my link tree: http://linktr.ee/michaelallenrose

Also, Bizarro Con is coming up, which is something I’ve been involved with for years, and is the place I met many of my best friends in writing. Portland, Oregon, May 14-16 2026! If you’re a weirdo and haven’t found a place your imagination fits in yet, you should check it out. www.bizarrocon.com 

Be kind to each other. Please. Help each other out. A rising tide raises all ships.

Thanks to Michael for taking the time to talk oatmeal, terrible jobs, and brainwashing on this lovely afternoon!